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Hospital vs Birth Center vs Homebirth
Since there is so much information on birth out there in internet-land, I will refrain from putting in too much medical information. My focus for this post will be to look at the emotional aspect of each birthing scenario and examine which has the preferred result for mother and baby. I will put statistics and studies aside for just one moment and explore which option is mentally and emotionally healthiest for mom and child.
Recently we discussed procedures and policies of hospitals, birth centers, and home birth at the natural birth meet-up I attend once a month. We talked about the differences in interventions, transfers, face-time with the birth team, and instruments used during prenatal visits, labor, and delivery. There was a clear line between hospitals and the natural birth advocates. Hospitals want to control as much as possible. The idea is, if we monitor closely with our instruments (as unreliable as they may be), and we control as much as we can, that is the safest option. Birth center and homebirth midwives insist that nature, if left unmolested, will provide a safer and more emotionally supportive environment for mom and baby, making natural child birth the best option.
Speaking strictly in terms of emotional support, there is a clear difference between the hospital and birth center settings. My first daughter was born in the hospital. For me, I preferred the interaction with medical staff to be rare, but for others who solely rely on the medical team for their support (if they do not have the support that I did), the experience will be found lacking in support. The nurses would come every couple of hours to check me. With deadpan faces, they say barely a word, except "I'm going to check you again." They proceed with a painful vaginal check (clearly they are accustomed to checking only the women with epidurals, because they did not seem to notice how rough they were), and after making a few notes, looking at the fetal monitor, and asking me one more time, "Are you SURE you don't want the epidural?" (to which I reply with a firm "no"), they leave the room.
I wonder how single mothers, mothers whose husbands are out to sea, or mothers who simply don't have the support they need (uneducated husbands who play their DS while their wives labor, or friends and family who push their way in and insist on the mother laboring they way they think is right) can possibly have a positive birth experience in that kind of environment. With sterile white walls, that awful coral and aqua plastic curtain, the beeping of equipment, IVs sticking out of her hand, and being forced to remain in one position--for me, it would be unbearable without proper support. The only reason I got through that birth is because of the emotional support present.
I was watching a few birth videos with my sister last week. We commented on the clear differences shown between hospital and home birth. But one thing that stood out to me was the incredible difference between planning to birth in a hospital and being transferred after a homebirth attempt. A featured couple in "The Business of Being Born" has a breech baby. Some midwives are able to deliver breech, but those are rare. My midwife prefers to prevent breech (through chiropractic care, accupuncture, and other holistic methods), but still many midwives transfer for breech babies. This couple, though they ended up having a cesarean, was happier with the decision because they had the support of friends, family, and their midwife.
When you are in the care of a midwife, you have more confidence that if they transfer you, it's because you really need it. There is a time and place for hospital births, and while midwives want to avoid it, they know when to transfer care. So if your midwife says, "We need to go to the hospital" you know it's for a good reason. On the other hand, if a doctor says, "We need to induce" or "we need to section", one is skeptical. Doctors are notorious for scheduling births around their own schedules. When are the majority of "emergency" cesareans performed? Before holidays, weekends and evenings.
It is difficult to have the emotional and mental support that a mother needs in the hospital environment. In a birth center, there is a sort of middle ground. It has the comforts and looks of a home, but it is not your home. There is still the need to get up from home while laboring and rush off to the birth center. While it may have the same support as a home birth, it may not have the comforts of such. However, it may be a reasonable alternative for mothers who 1) cannot afford a homebirth, 2) live in a state where homebirth is illegal, 3) would rather have the "mess" somewhere else, or 4) are not affected by a change of location during labor.
I discovered during my first laboring experience with my daughter that I am not the kind of woman who can pick up and leave, and continue to labor elsewhere. I labor best when I stay in one place and am not sidturbed. That is why I have chosen to have a home birth this time around. That is simply my preference, and I clearly have a bias, but I hope that this personal viewpoint will offer some with a new perspective and a few things to think about when considering what type of birth they wish to experience.
Recently we discussed procedures and policies of hospitals, birth centers, and home birth at the natural birth meet-up I attend once a month. We talked about the differences in interventions, transfers, face-time with the birth team, and instruments used during prenatal visits, labor, and delivery. There was a clear line between hospitals and the natural birth advocates. Hospitals want to control as much as possible. The idea is, if we monitor closely with our instruments (as unreliable as they may be), and we control as much as we can, that is the safest option. Birth center and homebirth midwives insist that nature, if left unmolested, will provide a safer and more emotionally supportive environment for mom and baby, making natural child birth the best option.
Speaking strictly in terms of emotional support, there is a clear difference between the hospital and birth center settings. My first daughter was born in the hospital. For me, I preferred the interaction with medical staff to be rare, but for others who solely rely on the medical team for their support (if they do not have the support that I did), the experience will be found lacking in support. The nurses would come every couple of hours to check me. With deadpan faces, they say barely a word, except "I'm going to check you again." They proceed with a painful vaginal check (clearly they are accustomed to checking only the women with epidurals, because they did not seem to notice how rough they were), and after making a few notes, looking at the fetal monitor, and asking me one more time, "Are you SURE you don't want the epidural?" (to which I reply with a firm "no"), they leave the room.
I wonder how single mothers, mothers whose husbands are out to sea, or mothers who simply don't have the support they need (uneducated husbands who play their DS while their wives labor, or friends and family who push their way in and insist on the mother laboring they way they think is right) can possibly have a positive birth experience in that kind of environment. With sterile white walls, that awful coral and aqua plastic curtain, the beeping of equipment, IVs sticking out of her hand, and being forced to remain in one position--for me, it would be unbearable without proper support. The only reason I got through that birth is because of the emotional support present.
I was watching a few birth videos with my sister last week. We commented on the clear differences shown between hospital and home birth. But one thing that stood out to me was the incredible difference between planning to birth in a hospital and being transferred after a homebirth attempt. A featured couple in "The Business of Being Born" has a breech baby. Some midwives are able to deliver breech, but those are rare. My midwife prefers to prevent breech (through chiropractic care, accupuncture, and other holistic methods), but still many midwives transfer for breech babies. This couple, though they ended up having a cesarean, was happier with the decision because they had the support of friends, family, and their midwife.
When you are in the care of a midwife, you have more confidence that if they transfer you, it's because you really need it. There is a time and place for hospital births, and while midwives want to avoid it, they know when to transfer care. So if your midwife says, "We need to go to the hospital" you know it's for a good reason. On the other hand, if a doctor says, "We need to induce" or "we need to section", one is skeptical. Doctors are notorious for scheduling births around their own schedules. When are the majority of "emergency" cesareans performed? Before holidays, weekends and evenings.
It is difficult to have the emotional and mental support that a mother needs in the hospital environment. In a birth center, there is a sort of middle ground. It has the comforts and looks of a home, but it is not your home. There is still the need to get up from home while laboring and rush off to the birth center. While it may have the same support as a home birth, it may not have the comforts of such. However, it may be a reasonable alternative for mothers who 1) cannot afford a homebirth, 2) live in a state where homebirth is illegal, 3) would rather have the "mess" somewhere else, or 4) are not affected by a change of location during labor.
I discovered during my first laboring experience with my daughter that I am not the kind of woman who can pick up and leave, and continue to labor elsewhere. I labor best when I stay in one place and am not sidturbed. That is why I have chosen to have a home birth this time around. That is simply my preference, and I clearly have a bias, but I hope that this personal viewpoint will offer some with a new perspective and a few things to think about when considering what type of birth they wish to experience.
Why my daughter is a terrible advertisement, and why that's ok.
When my daughter was born, I signed off and on, not doing very much "intensive" teaching just yet. I was a first-time mom, and I was still adjusting to being a mom, much less a signing mom. I wasn't an instructor yet, but I knew I wanted to teach my children sign.
When she turned five months, I started adding more and more signs, and making a point of it to sign them frequently. I started with the basics: MILK/NURSE, CHANGE (for diaper change), MOMMY, and SLEEP. Around eight months (the average age of when infants begin to sign) I thought she was doing so well because she was starting to understand, getting excited when I signed "MILK" and lying still with her legs up when I signed "CHANGE". Sometimes she would even sign MILK, which made me extremely excited. So I started adding more signs, like DOG, FOOD, MORE, and DADDY.
But the occasional "MILK" and understanding most signs was about as far as she got. Even now, at 13 months, she doesn't do much other than that. She's developed her own sign for "MILK" and for when she wants something. She says "bye-bye", "DADDY" and sometimes "MOMMY", but these hit-and-miss signs frustrated me. Why couldn't she sign like the babies in my training videos? Why couldn't I have the same success stories as my students? That, I think, was the most frustrating.
I've thought about this recently, and I've come to terms with the fact that my daughter isn't exactly a signing success story. In fact, she's a terrible advertisement for me. I'm sure my students expect my daughter to be a signing expert, but she's far from it.
Over the last couple of months, however, I've noticed that her learning style and mode of expression is mainly auditory and vocal, respectively. She talks all the time, says many words, and tends to learn words spoken better than signed. I cannot change her learning style or her mode of expression, but I can keep signing (because she does understand most of them), and keep trying.
So now I can relate to many a frustrated signing parent whose child refuses to sign, and I can honestly tell them, "I know exactly how you feel! But take comfort in knowing that even if your baby doesn't sign, they do understand, and you can still communicate with them much better than non-signing families." And for that, I suppose she actually is a good advertisement.
And who knows? Maybe one day she'll have a signing explosion and be a shining example of an toddler signer. But for now, she is my loquacious little lovie, and I wouldn't change her for the world!
When she turned five months, I started adding more and more signs, and making a point of it to sign them frequently. I started with the basics: MILK/NURSE, CHANGE (for diaper change), MOMMY, and SLEEP. Around eight months (the average age of when infants begin to sign) I thought she was doing so well because she was starting to understand, getting excited when I signed "MILK" and lying still with her legs up when I signed "CHANGE". Sometimes she would even sign MILK, which made me extremely excited. So I started adding more signs, like DOG, FOOD, MORE, and DADDY.
But the occasional "MILK" and understanding most signs was about as far as she got. Even now, at 13 months, she doesn't do much other than that. She's developed her own sign for "MILK" and for when she wants something. She says "bye-bye", "DADDY" and sometimes "MOMMY", but these hit-and-miss signs frustrated me. Why couldn't she sign like the babies in my training videos? Why couldn't I have the same success stories as my students? That, I think, was the most frustrating.
I've thought about this recently, and I've come to terms with the fact that my daughter isn't exactly a signing success story. In fact, she's a terrible advertisement for me. I'm sure my students expect my daughter to be a signing expert, but she's far from it.
Over the last couple of months, however, I've noticed that her learning style and mode of expression is mainly auditory and vocal, respectively. She talks all the time, says many words, and tends to learn words spoken better than signed. I cannot change her learning style or her mode of expression, but I can keep signing (because she does understand most of them), and keep trying.
So now I can relate to many a frustrated signing parent whose child refuses to sign, and I can honestly tell them, "I know exactly how you feel! But take comfort in knowing that even if your baby doesn't sign, they do understand, and you can still communicate with them much better than non-signing families." And for that, I suppose she actually is a good advertisement.
And who knows? Maybe one day she'll have a signing explosion and be a shining example of an toddler signer. But for now, she is my loquacious little lovie, and I wouldn't change her for the world!
How Parents Can Save Money and Live Green
In today's economy, every penny counts. While keeping costs low, it can be difficult to live green and give the best to your family-or maybe you just think it's difficult, when really it can be quite easy. Here are a few simple ideas to save money while living green.
Shopping Bags: Most stores today have reusable tote bags for sale. Most bags cost between $1-$5, depending on the size and the store. These bags hold more groceries than plastic shopping bags, and since they are reusable, they waste less. But they can also save you money! Did you know that many stores will give you a "bag credit" for bringing your own bag? Bringing your own bag cuts costs for the stores and many will offer a credit for saving them a few extra bucks. Most bag credits aren't much-maybe $0.30 give or take, but it will add up the more you use the reusables. The money you save on bag credits will more than pay for the bags themselves within a few months. In my family while growing up, we reused the plastic bags as trash bags for the bathroom, office or bedrooms. If you want to reuse plastic or paper bags for other uses, you can still opt for plastic or paper as needed. Average savings, at $0.30 credit per week with four reusable bags: $2 the first year (when you purchase the bags) and $14 each year following. It may not sound like much, but if you can save even a little while being less wasteful, it's worth it.
Shopping Organic Without Paying More: If you want the best for your family-and the environment-shopping organic is a good choice. But many times Organic fruits and veggies cost up to 10% more than "regular" fruits and veggies. Shopping at farmer's markets is much less expensive than the large chains, and you can find Organic groceries for much less. But there is an added bonus-you are stimulating your local economy! Local growers are suffering now more than ever in this deteriorating economy, and they need all the help they can get to stay afloat. Shopping at farmers' markets is a great way to save money, eat Organic, and support your local growers. The amount you save will vary (depending on what's available at your local market), but you could save up to $150 per month for a family of four. Yearly saving will average around $1800.
Cloth Diapering: We recently switched to cloth diapers for financial and ecological reasons. We saw how much waste was produced from 8-10 diapers per day, and how much money we were losing every week. On average, parents can spend anywhere from $30-$60 per month on disposable diapers. If a parent buys cloth diapers, they can spend around $200-$300 on a dozen one-size-fits-all diapers, which will last through the child's entire infancy, until the child is potty trained. Even if the parents spent only $30 per month and then buy the $300 diapers, the cost can pay for itself within 10 months, saving the parents almost $800 throughout their child's infancy and toddlerhood (assuming the child is potty trained at three years old). That's over $250 per year! And really, who couldn't use an extra $250 per year? It must be said that there has been concern over the ecological impact of having to wash the diapers and the amount of water used. Since starting to use diapers, I have found for myself that it's only about one extra load of laundry per day, using half the normal amount of detergent. It is a little extra work, but when I think about the money I am saving, I believe that it's totally worth it!
Breastfeeding and Pumping: Formula Feeding, at its cheapest, costs over $1000 per year. Breastfeeding without pumping is absolutely free. Pumping and feeding breastmilk by bottle costs at most $300 per year for a pump, storage and bottles. Even if you only pump and do not nurse directly, you would still save at least $700 per year. Not only that, but you would be giving your child the best food possible! Breastmilk is full of antibodies, the proper balance of fat, protein and carbohydrates, vitamins, and flavor! Breastfed babies are less likely to develop food allergies and are less picky with food than formula-fed babies. They are also less likely to become obese later in life, have better speech development, have higher IQs, and have a strong bond with their mothers. If you have trouble breastfeeding, speak with a lactation consultant or an experienced breastfeeding mom.
These are just a few areas in parenting that will help you to save money while giving the best to your family and helping the environment. If parents choose to make all of these changes, they will save an average of $2800 per year. That's a mortage payment-or a down payment on a new car! But whichever of these you choose to do, know that you are saving valuable money and helping the environment, all while giving the absolute best to your family. It is my hope that parents will take this to heart and will be able to make informed decisions for their family.
On being a better blogger
I've been feeling terrible that I haven't been blogging. but at the same time, I have such a small audience that it seems almost pointless to blog. But then again, the more I blog, the more people will notice me through searches, and as my website grows and I gain more clients, I'd like to have some blogs already in existence. So in an effort to keep things rolling around here, I'm considering a number of different topics relating to natural parenting. I'm no expert, and I'm still learning, but I can at least share what I learn, my experiences, and advice I pick up along the way.
Most of the website is currently dedicated to Infant Sign, because that is my current focus as far as services go. I'm still studying for postpartum doula certification, and I haven't even started on my Infant Massage training. But there are other things that I think can help parents, and that can even be enjoyable to read.
Like my writing mentor says, "Write every day, even when you don't feel like it." I try to live up to that, but playing with my year-old daughter will take precedence many times, as it should. Speaking of which, my beautiful little girl just woke up from her nap, which means it's my cue to take off the writing hat and put on the mom hat. But before I go (as I'm holding the lovely Leah), I'll jot down a few blogs that you can look forward to in the near future:
"How parents can save money and go green"
"Why my daughter is a terrible advertisement, and why that's ok."
"Natural cleaners, soaps and lotions"
"Adventures in 'no-poo' and falling off the wagon"
"Early communication: Finding your child's language"
"Early communication: Methods and ideas"
"A review of four cloth diaper brands"
"Cloth diaper care"
"Our decision for home birth"
"Midwives"
"Hospital vs Birth Center vs Homebirth"
...and more! This should be plenty to get me started!
Most of the website is currently dedicated to Infant Sign, because that is my current focus as far as services go. I'm still studying for postpartum doula certification, and I haven't even started on my Infant Massage training. But there are other things that I think can help parents, and that can even be enjoyable to read.
Like my writing mentor says, "Write every day, even when you don't feel like it." I try to live up to that, but playing with my year-old daughter will take precedence many times, as it should. Speaking of which, my beautiful little girl just woke up from her nap, which means it's my cue to take off the writing hat and put on the mom hat. But before I go (as I'm holding the lovely Leah), I'll jot down a few blogs that you can look forward to in the near future:
"How parents can save money and go green"
"Why my daughter is a terrible advertisement, and why that's ok."
"Natural cleaners, soaps and lotions"
"Adventures in 'no-poo' and falling off the wagon"
"Early communication: Finding your child's language"
"Early communication: Methods and ideas"
"A review of four cloth diaper brands"
"Cloth diaper care"
"Our decision for home birth"
"Midwives"
"Hospital vs Birth Center vs Homebirth"
...and more! This should be plenty to get me started!
Leah's Birth Story
This blog was originally posted on my personal blog. I'm moving many of my posts from the other blog here to have everything in one place.
On Friday, September 19th, I woke up just before 7:30 am. As I got up from my bed, I felt a gush, and instantly knew that my water had broken. It wasn’t a big gush, and since it was my first pregnancy, I doubted myself. I called my sister, who is also a doula, and she recommended that I call the Birth Center and have them check to see if it was indeed my water that had broken. I called the Birth Center and made an appointment for 8:30 am. I took a shower and prepared myself to go into labor. I was extremely excited and could hardly contain myself! My mom went with me to the appointment, and we were both elated when they confirmed that my water had broken. I was dilated 2 cm, and was instructed to go back home and wait for active labor.
I did have a bit of concern, though, since the Birth Center (in order to keep their doors open) requires you to be in active labor within 24 hours of when your water breaks. This can put a lot of stress on a soon-to-be-mother!
I headed home and called my husband. I told him he didn’t need to leave work just yet, but I would call him if I was having regular contractions. Some time passed and I tried to start contractions. I walked, did Bradley exercises like squatting, tailor sitting, and pelvic rocks. Still, my contractions were not coming very strong or very regular. I called my husband and told him that if he could get off, to go ahead and do that so that he could help me through first stage if it ever progressed.
The midwife had instructed me to call at noon to check in and let her know what was going on. I informed her that my contractions came only as I was walking or moving, and stopped as soon as I sat or lay down. She told me to take castor oil, and take it again in two hours if contractions were not strong & regular. After downing the awful stuff twice, I called the midwife at 2:30 that afternoon, and since my contractions still had not started, she gave me the “ok” to start taking Black Cohosh. I took ten drops every two hours for a total of four administrations. Still, not much happened.
But by 7:30 pm, I was actually beginning to see the signs of first stage labor. My contractions were coming a little more regularly and stronger, even when I lay down. As we had been instructed, we prepared to go to the Birth Center and meet with the on-call midwife, who would perform a non-stress test to see exactly how active my labor was becoming. Almost as soon as we started to drive, my contractions stopped, and did not start again until we got to the Birth Center, and even then, they were not as strong or as regular as they were at home. The midwife instructed us to get some rest and come back in the morning, and she would check to see if I had dilated.
At about 1:30 am, my contractions were coming strong and almost regular. I was no longer able to talk through them, and I was turning inward. It seemed to be the signs of late first stage, and my husband said we should call my sister and have her come down in case we had to leave quickly. I called my sister, my mom, and my mother-in-law. Everyone sat around in our room, making sure I rested, timing my contractions, and keeping me in a positive mood. The contractions continued until 7:00 am, when it was time to leave for the Birth Center again.
However, when I got into the car, my contractions stopped almost immediately. When I got to the Birth Center, my contractions still were not coming. I was checked and the midwife told us that I was still only dilated 2 cm. 4 cm is considered active labor, and I had not met the deadline.
When the midwife told us that we had to be transferred to the hospital to be induced, I cried. This was not at all the birth I had hoped for—or planned for. I had done everything right! I had eaten right, done the exercises, practiced relaxation, read the books, gone to class—and part of me wondered if it was all for nothing.
We arrived at the hospital at about 8:30 am. We checked in and I could feel my stress rising as we waited for a room. Once we were in a room, I was immediately put on a fetal monitor, and soon the nurse was putting in my IV drip of pitocin. During this time, the doctor on call had also changed, so the doctor I had originally picked as my back up was not going to be there for the birth, so I also had a new doctor that I had never met before.
After starting the pitocin, I was checked, and was still only at 2 cm. I was, however, having very regular contractions, and they were stronger than the ones I had when I was at home. These I was able to handle with relaxation, and for a long time, I was still able to talk through them. The mood in the room was light and I knew my family was attempting to stay positive about the situation, though in my mind, I was scared, angry, and disappointed.
Hours passed and the contractions became stronger, one on top of the other. I was at 28 milli-units of pitocin, and was still able to handle them with relaxation. I was focused inward, no longer able to talk through contractions, and the pain was pushing me towards asking for meds—but I was stubborn and I endured through them with the relaxation methods we had learned in the class. I breathed deep, made sure that not one muscle was contracted, and if necessary, moaned through the pain. My husband wiped my face with a cool cloth and spoke encouragingly to me as my sister (the doula), my mom, and my best friend massaged me. They called my attention to tense muscles when a contraction started, reminding me to relax, and helped me to breathe through the contraction, releasing the pain as I exhaled.
At one point I really wanted the medication, I was nauseas, I repeatedly said that I couldn’t do it and that I didn’t want to do it, I had mood swings (including swatting at my husband), and I even wanted to push. But I didn’t say anything, because I was afraid that if I mentioned that, the nurse would check me and tell me that I wasn’t dilated enough to push yet. But still, all the emotional signposts of transition were there.
Soon after this turning point, the doctor came in. Even at double the amount of pitocin that it normally takes for a woman to be in active labor, my contractions stopped when he entered, showing quite obviously the emotional stress I was in. He checked me, and my sister asked him not to say anything unless it was good news. After checking me, he said nothing but looked at the nurse. He went to her and told her quietly that I was only at 2.5 cm.
My sister, who, being the doula, had become the liaison between us and the medical team, spoke to the doctor outside. He told her that he wanted to let us keep waiting, but because of the ruptured bag of waters and the risk of infection, and because I was still only at 2 cm, it was looking like it might end in a c-section. My sister knew this was the last thing I wanted, and suggested to him that they try an epidural to relax me. He agreed to it, and they came to me with that option. My sister, being a great advocate of natural unmedicated birth, was the one to give me the news. I asked her if she would do it if she were in my position. She said she would, because I would have to get an epidural if I needed the c-section anyways, and it was worth a try to avoid the c-section. I agreed to it, and again I cried as I waited for the anesthesiologist to come in.
The pain of the needle in my back was far worse than the contractions, even on pitocin. While I was able to breathe, relax, and simply moan through the contractions, I screamed when I felt the needle go in. Soon after, I lost feeling in my legs and no longer felt the contractions. I did, however, feel another gush similar to the one I had felt that morning. I also felt shaky and cold, a side-effect of the epidural.
Ten minutes later, the nurse came in to give me a catheter. While she had me “open”, she checked me as well, and lo and behold, I was at 10 cm! She called the doctor in and before I knew it, my mom and sister were holding my legs up to support me (as I could not move them myself), and the nurse was watching the monitor for a contraction so I could know when to push.
Within three pushes, my daughter had been born. Moments after, she was on my chest, skin-to-skin, and a few moments later, she was nursing. She was pink, alert, and happy to be in my arms.
Overall, the experience was not at all what I had hoped for or planned for, but the class was worth taking. Because of the class, I was able to strive for what was best for my child, including waiving certain perinatal procedures like the vitamin K injection, eye antibiotics, and the Hepatitis B immunization. I knew what to ask for, what to reject, and how to deal with the situation, because I was informed. I was educated in how to relax through pain, and I knew the effect of different medications and treatments, and was able to choose which ones to accept. I am grateful that my daughter was born in a safe place, and that neither of our lives had been threatened during the ordeal, but now I know the effects of emotional stress that is put on me due to the deadlines required. I know my body even better than before, and I am looking forward to my next birth. Now that I know how I labor, I believe a home birth may be better suited to me, as there are not as many restrictions or deadlines as there are at the Birth Center.
I would encourage anyone who reads this not to be discouraged and to assume that because this one birth did not work out the way we had hoped, that it is useless or a waste to take a Bradley class. The information and techniques we learned in the class were vital, and because the doctor knew that we had taken the class, he adapted his normal routine and was willing to adapt it to our preferences (such as fewer vaginal checks, and allowing as little intervention as was safe). The Bradley class we took with Kyla was invaluable, and I am sure we will be taking it again when the next one comes along. That one, we think, will be a home birth.
On Friday, September 19th, I woke up just before 7:30 am. As I got up from my bed, I felt a gush, and instantly knew that my water had broken. It wasn’t a big gush, and since it was my first pregnancy, I doubted myself. I called my sister, who is also a doula, and she recommended that I call the Birth Center and have them check to see if it was indeed my water that had broken. I called the Birth Center and made an appointment for 8:30 am. I took a shower and prepared myself to go into labor. I was extremely excited and could hardly contain myself! My mom went with me to the appointment, and we were both elated when they confirmed that my water had broken. I was dilated 2 cm, and was instructed to go back home and wait for active labor.
I did have a bit of concern, though, since the Birth Center (in order to keep their doors open) requires you to be in active labor within 24 hours of when your water breaks. This can put a lot of stress on a soon-to-be-mother!
I headed home and called my husband. I told him he didn’t need to leave work just yet, but I would call him if I was having regular contractions. Some time passed and I tried to start contractions. I walked, did Bradley exercises like squatting, tailor sitting, and pelvic rocks. Still, my contractions were not coming very strong or very regular. I called my husband and told him that if he could get off, to go ahead and do that so that he could help me through first stage if it ever progressed.
The midwife had instructed me to call at noon to check in and let her know what was going on. I informed her that my contractions came only as I was walking or moving, and stopped as soon as I sat or lay down. She told me to take castor oil, and take it again in two hours if contractions were not strong & regular. After downing the awful stuff twice, I called the midwife at 2:30 that afternoon, and since my contractions still had not started, she gave me the “ok” to start taking Black Cohosh. I took ten drops every two hours for a total of four administrations. Still, not much happened.
But by 7:30 pm, I was actually beginning to see the signs of first stage labor. My contractions were coming a little more regularly and stronger, even when I lay down. As we had been instructed, we prepared to go to the Birth Center and meet with the on-call midwife, who would perform a non-stress test to see exactly how active my labor was becoming. Almost as soon as we started to drive, my contractions stopped, and did not start again until we got to the Birth Center, and even then, they were not as strong or as regular as they were at home. The midwife instructed us to get some rest and come back in the morning, and she would check to see if I had dilated.
At about 1:30 am, my contractions were coming strong and almost regular. I was no longer able to talk through them, and I was turning inward. It seemed to be the signs of late first stage, and my husband said we should call my sister and have her come down in case we had to leave quickly. I called my sister, my mom, and my mother-in-law. Everyone sat around in our room, making sure I rested, timing my contractions, and keeping me in a positive mood. The contractions continued until 7:00 am, when it was time to leave for the Birth Center again.
However, when I got into the car, my contractions stopped almost immediately. When I got to the Birth Center, my contractions still were not coming. I was checked and the midwife told us that I was still only dilated 2 cm. 4 cm is considered active labor, and I had not met the deadline.
When the midwife told us that we had to be transferred to the hospital to be induced, I cried. This was not at all the birth I had hoped for—or planned for. I had done everything right! I had eaten right, done the exercises, practiced relaxation, read the books, gone to class—and part of me wondered if it was all for nothing.
We arrived at the hospital at about 8:30 am. We checked in and I could feel my stress rising as we waited for a room. Once we were in a room, I was immediately put on a fetal monitor, and soon the nurse was putting in my IV drip of pitocin. During this time, the doctor on call had also changed, so the doctor I had originally picked as my back up was not going to be there for the birth, so I also had a new doctor that I had never met before.
After starting the pitocin, I was checked, and was still only at 2 cm. I was, however, having very regular contractions, and they were stronger than the ones I had when I was at home. These I was able to handle with relaxation, and for a long time, I was still able to talk through them. The mood in the room was light and I knew my family was attempting to stay positive about the situation, though in my mind, I was scared, angry, and disappointed.
Hours passed and the contractions became stronger, one on top of the other. I was at 28 milli-units of pitocin, and was still able to handle them with relaxation. I was focused inward, no longer able to talk through contractions, and the pain was pushing me towards asking for meds—but I was stubborn and I endured through them with the relaxation methods we had learned in the class. I breathed deep, made sure that not one muscle was contracted, and if necessary, moaned through the pain. My husband wiped my face with a cool cloth and spoke encouragingly to me as my sister (the doula), my mom, and my best friend massaged me. They called my attention to tense muscles when a contraction started, reminding me to relax, and helped me to breathe through the contraction, releasing the pain as I exhaled.
At one point I really wanted the medication, I was nauseas, I repeatedly said that I couldn’t do it and that I didn’t want to do it, I had mood swings (including swatting at my husband), and I even wanted to push. But I didn’t say anything, because I was afraid that if I mentioned that, the nurse would check me and tell me that I wasn’t dilated enough to push yet. But still, all the emotional signposts of transition were there.
Soon after this turning point, the doctor came in. Even at double the amount of pitocin that it normally takes for a woman to be in active labor, my contractions stopped when he entered, showing quite obviously the emotional stress I was in. He checked me, and my sister asked him not to say anything unless it was good news. After checking me, he said nothing but looked at the nurse. He went to her and told her quietly that I was only at 2.5 cm.
My sister, who, being the doula, had become the liaison between us and the medical team, spoke to the doctor outside. He told her that he wanted to let us keep waiting, but because of the ruptured bag of waters and the risk of infection, and because I was still only at 2 cm, it was looking like it might end in a c-section. My sister knew this was the last thing I wanted, and suggested to him that they try an epidural to relax me. He agreed to it, and they came to me with that option. My sister, being a great advocate of natural unmedicated birth, was the one to give me the news. I asked her if she would do it if she were in my position. She said she would, because I would have to get an epidural if I needed the c-section anyways, and it was worth a try to avoid the c-section. I agreed to it, and again I cried as I waited for the anesthesiologist to come in.
The pain of the needle in my back was far worse than the contractions, even on pitocin. While I was able to breathe, relax, and simply moan through the contractions, I screamed when I felt the needle go in. Soon after, I lost feeling in my legs and no longer felt the contractions. I did, however, feel another gush similar to the one I had felt that morning. I also felt shaky and cold, a side-effect of the epidural.
Ten minutes later, the nurse came in to give me a catheter. While she had me “open”, she checked me as well, and lo and behold, I was at 10 cm! She called the doctor in and before I knew it, my mom and sister were holding my legs up to support me (as I could not move them myself), and the nurse was watching the monitor for a contraction so I could know when to push.
Within three pushes, my daughter had been born. Moments after, she was on my chest, skin-to-skin, and a few moments later, she was nursing. She was pink, alert, and happy to be in my arms.
Overall, the experience was not at all what I had hoped for or planned for, but the class was worth taking. Because of the class, I was able to strive for what was best for my child, including waiving certain perinatal procedures like the vitamin K injection, eye antibiotics, and the Hepatitis B immunization. I knew what to ask for, what to reject, and how to deal with the situation, because I was informed. I was educated in how to relax through pain, and I knew the effect of different medications and treatments, and was able to choose which ones to accept. I am grateful that my daughter was born in a safe place, and that neither of our lives had been threatened during the ordeal, but now I know the effects of emotional stress that is put on me due to the deadlines required. I know my body even better than before, and I am looking forward to my next birth. Now that I know how I labor, I believe a home birth may be better suited to me, as there are not as many restrictions or deadlines as there are at the Birth Center.
I would encourage anyone who reads this not to be discouraged and to assume that because this one birth did not work out the way we had hoped, that it is useless or a waste to take a Bradley class. The information and techniques we learned in the class were vital, and because the doctor knew that we had taken the class, he adapted his normal routine and was willing to adapt it to our preferences (such as fewer vaginal checks, and allowing as little intervention as was safe). The Bradley class we took with Kyla was invaluable, and I am sure we will be taking it again when the next one comes along. That one, we think, will be a home birth.
Every Day is a New Adventure
A couple of notes before I write the main part of this blog: 1) I'll be slowly re-posting particular entries from my old blog at blogspot.com (just the relevant ones) to give my DB clients a little more bulk to read, without having to pop over to another website. 2) Stay tuned for new classes in Chula Vista, starting this September! I'm super excited about this!
Ok, now on with the regularly scheduled programming.
This is the first of what I am sure will be many many entries in the "Insights" category. I called it "Insights" rather than "Info" because these entries will be solely from my perspective--an adventure in parenting, if you will. They will not always be based around some new study or a particular method of parenting, but rather, what I try and the results thereof. Since it is meant only as a commentary on my personal experiences, I do not expect this to be a source of cookie-cutter advice, but rather, showing you that I am still learning and trying new things, and hopefully through my experience, you will be comforted in knowing that you're not the only one crying in the fetal position at least once a week. (kidding--I don't really do that. but sometimes I feel like it. really.)
So what is this new adventure? Well, it's something we all need, but we don't always do enough of. No, it's not eating our veggies, though they are a very important part of nutrition. I'm talking about sleep. I need it, my daughter needs it, yet somehow we end up not getting any.
My daughter is at that particular age, when she's very clingy, very ornery, and VERY cranky at the slightest things. She doesn't want to go to sleep, but she desperately needs to. It's very hard to reason with a 10 month old about why sleep is important and how she would be happier if she just slept a little bit more. I've tried it all, and nothing seems to work. Without endorsing one sleep training method over another, I will simply say that if there's a method out there, I've most likely tried it, or at least tried a variation of it. I've asked friends, strangers, experts... all telling me something different. I'm sure there are some of you out there that feel the same way. You try one thing, thinking you're following your instincts, but it doesn't work. So you ask your friends, and try something new, but that doesn't work any better. THEN, you try something out of the box, and still you can't make it work! And by now you've tried so many things that it becomes a problem because you've never been consistent for more than two weeks, and your child is suffering for it.
In a last ditch effort to give my daughter and myself peace of mind, and a piece of sleep, I've contacted a child development expert and fellow blogger to assist me in finding the correct method for my daughter, myself, our family and our situation. Let's just cross our fingers and pray it works.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must attend to said 10 month old. Lord help me.
Ok, now on with the regularly scheduled programming.
This is the first of what I am sure will be many many entries in the "Insights" category. I called it "Insights" rather than "Info" because these entries will be solely from my perspective--an adventure in parenting, if you will. They will not always be based around some new study or a particular method of parenting, but rather, what I try and the results thereof. Since it is meant only as a commentary on my personal experiences, I do not expect this to be a source of cookie-cutter advice, but rather, showing you that I am still learning and trying new things, and hopefully through my experience, you will be comforted in knowing that you're not the only one crying in the fetal position at least once a week. (kidding--I don't really do that. but sometimes I feel like it. really.)
So what is this new adventure? Well, it's something we all need, but we don't always do enough of. No, it's not eating our veggies, though they are a very important part of nutrition. I'm talking about sleep. I need it, my daughter needs it, yet somehow we end up not getting any.
My daughter is at that particular age, when she's very clingy, very ornery, and VERY cranky at the slightest things. She doesn't want to go to sleep, but she desperately needs to. It's very hard to reason with a 10 month old about why sleep is important and how she would be happier if she just slept a little bit more. I've tried it all, and nothing seems to work. Without endorsing one sleep training method over another, I will simply say that if there's a method out there, I've most likely tried it, or at least tried a variation of it. I've asked friends, strangers, experts... all telling me something different. I'm sure there are some of you out there that feel the same way. You try one thing, thinking you're following your instincts, but it doesn't work. So you ask your friends, and try something new, but that doesn't work any better. THEN, you try something out of the box, and still you can't make it work! And by now you've tried so many things that it becomes a problem because you've never been consistent for more than two weeks, and your child is suffering for it.
In a last ditch effort to give my daughter and myself peace of mind, and a piece of sleep, I've contacted a child development expert and fellow blogger to assist me in finding the correct method for my daughter, myself, our family and our situation. Let's just cross our fingers and pray it works.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must attend to said 10 month old. Lord help me.
A new blog for Divine Babies
Divine Babies is really growing in an incredibly short time. We have a lot of new and exciting opportunities, features and ways to connect with signing families!
Blog: First, and most obviously, we now have a blog. I will post information, stories, questions to ponder and parenting tips. Check back frequently to stay up to date on all the new posts!
Merge: An exciting opportunity came my way last week and I am so ecstatic to get started! A fellow Sign2Me Instructor is moving cross-country and was looking for someone to take over her classes, Mommy & Me play group, and library signing story time. I jumped at the chance to grow my business and soon I will be offering all of the services she offered as well as all the classes and services I currently offer. I will be one busy mama!
Facebook: Become a fan of San Diego Infant Sign Instruction by Divine Babies on Facebook! I know, it's a long name, but totally worth the search! You'll be invited to events, you'll get to see photos and videos of infants and children signing, and (if all of that wasn't enough) join in discussions with other signing families.
Photos: If you haven't already, check out the great photos in our gallery! All Photos courtesy of Sign2Me and Casi Christians.
Blog: First, and most obviously, we now have a blog. I will post information, stories, questions to ponder and parenting tips. Check back frequently to stay up to date on all the new posts!
Merge: An exciting opportunity came my way last week and I am so ecstatic to get started! A fellow Sign2Me Instructor is moving cross-country and was looking for someone to take over her classes, Mommy & Me play group, and library signing story time. I jumped at the chance to grow my business and soon I will be offering all of the services she offered as well as all the classes and services I currently offer. I will be one busy mama!
Facebook: Become a fan of San Diego Infant Sign Instruction by Divine Babies on Facebook! I know, it's a long name, but totally worth the search! You'll be invited to events, you'll get to see photos and videos of infants and children signing, and (if all of that wasn't enough) join in discussions with other signing families.
Photos: If you haven't already, check out the great photos in our gallery! All Photos courtesy of Sign2Me and Casi Christians.
